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Hey guys!

Now, I don't know about you guys, but I wuv Agent Philip Coulson! A little ironic because I am also obsessed with Loki, the man who killed him. -_- But I've been surfing the web, trying to find more Phil fics. Since most of them are about him being Super Nanny, I decided to flip the switch and make the Avengers the Super Nannies! XD

Expect a lot of OOCness from the Avengers and Loki, as well as Fury and Hill. I can just picture Kid Phil! XD He looks soooo cute!

Title: Super Nannies

Summary: Instead of killing Agent Coulson, Loki casted a spell that turned Phil into a 6 year old. Now the Avengers must take care of their Super Nanny while fighting off Loki and his army. But one member of the Avengers might have a hard time looking after Phil when their hidden feelings for the agent start to surface. Kid!Phil plus the Avengers, Loki, Fury, Hill and of course Pepper.

Pairing(s): Kid!CoulsonXAvengers (not in a pedophile sense, more in the lines of family ties.) and some decent amounts of Loki. Some romance if you squint. ;D *coughClintcough*

Rating: T...may get higher due to future chapters

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. Just the plot and ….no, that's about it.

Chapter 1: Loki'd

Loki sat inside his cage. Anger boiled inside of him. He had been tricked by that mewling quim! The god of Mischief, had by a simple mortal! He couldn't help letting out a small cry of anger. He stood up and started to pace back and fort inside the cage. Barton was due any moment and he would savor all the chaos that would follow.

"You seem troubled." a voice said behind him. Loki stopped pacing and turned to the owner of the voice. "What's the matter? Didn't like Agent Romanoff's little trick?"

Loki's anger was replaced by amusement. This mortal will prove to ease his boredom. "Ah, the agent." Loki started as he walked up the glass closest the voice's owner. "Tell me, Son of Coul, have they sent you here to acquire more information?" Loki inquired mockingly.

Phil gave a small chuckle. He would not fall for Loki's tricks. "Fortunately for you Mr... would you prefer I call you by Odinson or Laufeyson?"

Loki froze. Never had anyone asked him that question. Never had anyone asked him which lineage he had preferred. Now faced with the decision, Loki was unsure as to which to chose. Did he still consider himself a son of Odin, or has he accepted that his blood was derived from the veins of Laufey?

Phil waited patiently for Loki to voice his decision. After a couple of moments of silence, Phil sensed that Loki was having a hard time answering the question, Phil stepped in to aid Loki's inner turmoil. "Or would you prefer I just call you Loki."

Loki was silent for a second. He gave out a small nod, which Coulson took as a yes. "Alright then, Loki it is." Coulson let out a small smile as he nodded in agreement. "To answer your first question, no. I am not here to gather more information from you. Agent Romanoff already did that."

Coulson couldn't help but smirk at Loki's reaction. The mention of Romanoff's trickery made his blood boil yet again. He still couldn't get over the fact that he, the God of Mischief, was bested by another. A mortal no less! "Then what can I do you for? Surely you have not bothered to come here just to visit myself?" Loki asked in sarcasm. But what was the Son of Coul doing here if not to gather more information from him?

Phil didn't say anything for a moment as he stared at Loki's mocking smile. "I am." he reply softly. This reaction caught Loki off guard. What? Loki could do nothing but stare at the man in front of him. Why would the Son of Coul come to just visit me? It must be another trick! The thought sent another round of anger to surge throughout Loki's whole body. Never again! Loki swore to himself.

"Another trickery? Honestly, you mortals truly test my patience." Loki pressed his right forearm against the cage's glass as he leered at Coulson. The dark look on his face would have sent any normal person running for the hills in fear, but since Coulson was no ordinary civilian, he challenged the stare with own cold indifference.

Coulson sighed. "It's no trickery Loki. It's just a little visit." He replied calmly. He stepped back and sat atop one of the railings near Loki's cage. He crossed his arms over his chest and just stared at Loki. Who just smiled in amusement. He clearly didn't believe Coulson's words.

"Do you think me as a fool?" Loki started calmly. "Your calmness cannot hide the fact that you seek something from me. And I will discover the reason for this continued attempts of tricking me." By the time he was finished, Loki had removed himself from the glass wall and just stood there. Loki's rage intensified when he heard the soft sound of Coulson's laughter. "And what pray tell can be so utterly amusing you, Son of Coul?" He hissed out.  

"You are such a child." Coulson said in between his soft laughter. But that one sentence snapped something in the back of Loki's head.

"A child?" He startled dangerously calm. "You believe that I am a child?"  

The dark look on Loki's face was reinforcing Coulson's observation even more. "Yes, you are such a child. A very paranoid child." Coulson uncrossed his hands and placed them on top of the railing that he was leaning on. "There is no trickery happening, Loki."

"If that is so, then why are you here.?"

"Like I said before, I'm only here for a little visit." Loki nodded, but still didn't buy it. "And also because I'm on my break and I have nothing to do." Coulson added.

Loki couldn't help but let out a small chuckle which caused Coulson to follow. "Ah yes. Boredom does drive many to commit idiotic acts. Like you visiting a dangerous criminal like myself."

"I wouldn't say I was driven by boredom, more in the lines of...curiosity."

Loki stared at Coulson blankly. "Curiosity? How interesting."

"Is it?"

"Yes, very much so." Loki backed off the glass and sat on the bench inside his cage. "Might I ask what it was that sparked your curiosity, Son of Coul?"

"You." Phil stated calmly.

"Me?" Loki couldn't be more confused.

"Yes. You?"

"And what about me sparked your curiosity?"

"I was curious as to who we're really dealing with."

Loki took in his words and replied a couple of seconds later. "And did you find an answer that satisfied your curiosity?"


Loki was now curious as to what Coulson gathered from their meeting. "And what would that be?"

"We are dealing with a child. A very paranoid child."

Loki couldn't help but let out a low growl. "How am I a child?"

Phil briefly closed his eyes before opening them and looking at Loki through the glass. His eyes held a new found seriousness, which replaced his playful once from before. "From what I've heard from Thor, you seemed like a child. Your jealousy of Thor, the tantrum you had which destroyed that town in New Mexico, committing genocide, and now this."

"How does any of that make me a child?"

"A true man would not go through so much trouble just to try and outshine someone. And if they do, they wouldn't need to take unnecessary steps to ensure their victory. You were jealous of Thor, that's why you did all those things. You went through so many steps just to better Thor. But considering that Thor is the true heir, you never really had a chance."

Loki processed Coulson's words. It was true. He did everything to make Thor's life a more insufferable. Took all the small steps to ensure that Thor suffered as much as he could. He didn't need to visit Thor on earth after his banishment, but he did. He even added the lie about Odin's death and their mother no longer wanting to see him just to twist the knife in Thor's wounded heart. Even threatened to harm that mortal woman he had grown fond of.  

Although Loki knew that Coulson's words were true, he still didn't sit well about being called a child. "Even though your words maybe true, I am no child." He hissed out.

Coulson only shrugged which made Loki's rage slowly spike. "That's what you think. I may or may not be the only one who thinks that you're a child, but from your actions, it makes me right."

Loki glared at Coulson. "We shall see who the real child is, Son of Coul."

As soon as Loki finished his sentence, a loud explosion rang throughout the whole helicarrier. The whole place shook and Coulson had to stand back on his feet and quickly grab the railing to keep from falling over. As he steadied himself, he glance over to Loki who was giving him a mocking smirk. Coulson narrowed his eyes. "I won't let you escaped." He stated with so much confidence as he turned around and ran out to the bridge.

Behind him, Loki kept smirking. "We shall see about that." His smirk grew as he heard the sound of guns firing and more bombs exploding. Barton was here and along with him, the agents he had acquired during his entrance to earth.

It was finally time for him to take down the floating fortress of the so called Avengers. The unmistakable roar of the Hulk rang throughout the helicarrier, which caused a laugh to come out of Loki. "Ah. The beast has finally shown itself." Loki stood from where he sat and walked over the exit of the cage and waited patiently.

"Coulson, initiate defensive lock down in the detention section. And head for the armory." Fury's voice through the ear piece was frantic, exhausted and dare he say it, almost broken.

Coulson ran out of the room holding Loki and headed straight for the armory. He passed the bridge where everyone was in complete disarray. He could hear Hill's voice shout out commands in order to level out the helicarrier, but he didn't bother to stop and help the others as he made his way down to the detention section and to the armory.

As he made his way down the stairs, he heard Hill's panic scream. "Grenade!" Followed by an explosion and cries of agents. Coulson, however, still didn't stop. He had vowed to Loki that he wouldn't let him escape. And he was planning on keeping his word.

The detention section was in complete chaos, with Thor and Hulk battling it out and agents in complete confusion. "Agents! More of Loki's agents are breaching our security! Head out to he bridge and aid the others!" Coulson shouted orders to help organize the panicked agents. "Initiate lock down on the detention section!" The detention section was under lock down in mere seconds.

Reaching the armory, Coulson entered his pass code, thumb print and scanned his retinas. The soft click and beep coming from the lock gave Coulson the OK to open the door. He wasted no time in pulling the doors open and heading inside.

Looking around, he found the crate he was looking for. Marked on the wooden box was "Destroyer Prototype" Coulson grab a nearby crowbar and drove it into the side of the wooden crate. He gave out a small cry as he pushed down on the crowbar thus releasing the nails holding the crate's lid down. He threw the crowbar on the ground and pushed the lid of the crate out of the way.

He pushed the straws aside and cleared out the surface of a large metal case. He grabbed the handle and pulled the case out of the crate. Coulson quickly dropped it on the floor and began to fiddle with the case's locks. Releasing the hatches, he pushed the top up.

Inside the case was the prototype for a gun with the similar fire power as that of the Destroyer Loki had sent to New Mexico. Coulson grabbed the main part of the gun and began to assemble the weapon. Once assembled, the gun gave off a low hum and the large barrel started to glow red.

Coulson gave off an uncharacteristic smirk. He stood up with the gun in his hand. "Now, let's see what you can do." Coulson cocked the gun and ran out the armory. He needed to reach Loki's cage and fast.

Thor coughed as he dusted himself off. The Hulk had punched him into some stacks of crates. He sat up and looked around looking for the Hulk. In the distance, he can see the Hulk on top of an out of control jet, tearing it apart.

He struggled to stand up, but the soreness of his body only allowed him on one knee. He inhaled deeply and held out his right hand calling for Mjolnir. It took a couple of second before Thor could hear Mjolnir breaking through any obstacle on it's path. His hand automatically clenched around Mjolnir's handle as soon as it touched his palms. He tighten his hold on Mjolnir's handle.

Thor, with his new found strength, quickly sat up and ran towards Loki's cage. He passed through multiple agents and exited the hangar and went to the detention section. Running as fast as he could, Thor didn't even bother stop as he just struck Loki's agents as he ran towards Loki's cage.

When the entrance to the room holding Loki's cage was in his view, Thor slowed down, but his pace was still too fast for an abruptly stop. He used his left arm to help stop himself from colliding full speed on the wall. He glanced up and looked inside the room. His eyes widened in horror as he watched the door of Loki's cage open, releasing his brother.

"NO!" He screamed in protest as he ran towards Loki with Mjolnir in his hands. He planned to tackle Loki back into the cage, but was shocked when he went right though Loki's middle. Thor heard the door of the cage close behind him and he quickly stood up. Thor looked around until he found Loki staring at him hands behind his back and with a look that showed no surprise.

"Are ever not going to fall for that?" Loki asked as if exhausted from his brother's apparent stupidity.  

Thor glared at Loki from behind the glass. He gripped Mjolnir and ran up to the glass wall. He reared his arm back and struck the glass wall. The glass cracked, but didn't shatter. Thor felt the cage slightly move as the mechanism holding it give off a loud hiss.

Loki froze as he heard the sound. A smile formed on his face as he remembered the words Fury had told him about the cage. Loki had a smirk on his face as he watched as Thor gazed at him from behind the glass of the cage in complete helplessness. He gave out a small chuckle as he turned to the controls Fury had shown him earlier when he was in Thor place. "The humans thinks us immortal. Should we test that?" Loki gave Thor a mock questioning look as he stood in front of the controls.

Thor could do nothing, but glare at Loki from behind the glass. He gripped Mjolnir's handle as he waited for Loki's next move.

As Loki was about to press the button to release Thor's cage, he heard the startled cry of one of his agents, followed by the sound of his body dropping to the floor.

"Move away please." Agent Coulson casually said as he pointed a large gun at Loki, who stood frozen in front of the controls. Loki had a dark look on his face as he stared at Coulson and the unknown gun in his hands. He slowly moved away from the controls with his hands held up. Thor looked on from his spot with concern for both his brother and for Coulson.

"You like this?" Coulson started as he moved closer to Loki with the gun ready in his hands. "We started working on the prototype after you sent the Destroyer." Coulson held up the gun slightly higher. "Even I don't know what it does." Coulson cocked the gun and it started to glow red. "Wanna find out?"
Before Coulson could do anything, he felt a sharp metal pressed up against his neck. In front of him, Loki started to dissolve into golden dust. He felt Loki's breath on his ear as he gave off a small chuckle. "Like I said before, let us see who the true child is." Coulson didn't try to struggle as Loki placed one of his free hand on top Coulson's forehead. "I will escape Son of Coul and you can do nothing to stop me." Loki said as a faint green light shone from his hands above Coulson's forehead.

Thor looked on in horror. Only once had he seen Loki use this magic. "Loki, stop!" Loki gazed at Thor and gave him a mocking smirk as he continued.

Phil felt slightly light headed and then a sharp pain throughout his body. He let out a low groan as the pain got more intense. His knees felt weak against the pain and were starting to buckle. Before he could fall Loki pulled his scepter away from Coulson's neck and dropped in on the floor. With the use of his free hand, he pried the gun out of Coulson's hands before flinging it across the room.

It made a loud clang as it crashed on the floor, but the force accidentally fired the gun. It let out a fire like blast and it collided with the weak outer glass of Thor's cage. Thor reacted quickly and started to hammer the weakened glass.

Loki slowly eased Coulson down on the floor with his hand still pressed on Coulson's forehead. Once the light disappeared, Loki removed his hand and watched as the transformation began. He smirked, but before he could react, Thor struck the glass one last time before it shattered.

Loki quickly spun around, but he felt Mjolnir pressed up against his neck as he was pushed back against a wall. He looked at Thor's angry glare and couldn't help but smile mockingly at his distress. "Come now, brother." He only uses 'brother' in a conversation with Thor when he wants to calm Thor down or when mocking him. "Must you always fall for this?"

Before Thor could react, Loki had struck him from behind as his doppelganger disappeared. With his scepter in his hands, Loki shot out a beam that sent Thor crashing though the opposite walls in back in the battle field. Loki had a triumphant smile on his face. "Sir." a voice behind him said causing him to turn around. It was one of his brainwashed agents.

"What?" He asked in an indifferent voice.

"The jet is ready for you departure sir." The man said as he motioned for Loki to follow him towards SHIELD'S hangar. Loki nodded absentmindedly. He lowered his scepter and began to walk towards the exit when he heard a soft scuffling behind him. He froze in his place and another smirk fell on his face. He turned and met a sight that made his smirk wider.

There in front of him, was a six year old kid kneeling in a pool of oversized clothing. A large white tank top covered his tiny body loosely as one thin sleeve slipped off his left shoulder. The kid had a confused look on his face as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes with his right hand.

"Well, well, well." Loki laughed as he walked towards the kneeling child. "What a sight it is to witness you in this state." He kneeled on one knee in front of the child. The child looked up at him in confusion. His large bright blue eyes, shone brighter under his slightly long mop of brown hair. Loki laughed at the completely innocent look the child was giving him. He couldn't deny it. The child's large eyes slightly warmed his heart, but not enough.

Loki tightly grabbed a fist full of Phil's brown hair. He let out a small cry of pain as Loki pulled his head up, making him stand. Loki had a dark look on his eyes as he stared at Phil's face, contorted in pain. "Now tell me, whose the child now, Son of Coul."

Hope you guys like this experiment chapter. I thinks it's long enough for an introduction chapter. I have to warn you guys before hand, but the next following chapters will be kinda short, but not too short. I just gotta introduce everyone first before I can go back to long chapters.

I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up because it took me a while to write and edit this chapter. I'm sorry if there's any mistakes and all that jazz. I'll work on the next chapters as soon as I get back from my road trip. I wanna post this up before that so here it is. :D Any questions or comments can be sent via PM or review.

See ya guys soon!!! XD
Summary: Instead of killing Agent Coulson, Loki casted a spell that turned Phil into a 6 year old. Now the Avengers must take care of their Super Nanny while fighting off Loki and his army. But one member of the Avengers might have a hard time looking after Phil when their hidden feelings for the agent start to surface. Kid!Phil plus the Avengers, Loki, Fury, Hill and of course Pepper.

I can't believe I wrote this! It was just a joke in my mind, but I can't believe I went though with it! XD Enjoy Kid!Phil.

Cover picture by :icontuxedos:
Roxburryblack Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2013
You will write more of this yes?  I like it because it give a different view of Loki and Coulson's interactions and makes it hilarious at the same time.
captainkittycat Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2012
Is it bad that my favorite part was Coulson calling Loki a child? I just love Loki when he's backed into a corner!
Lady-Chan101 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh god this is perfect. I want to see what happens next.
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